Little Hearts

  In a world full of strife,
    you make it worth fighting for.
  A purpose to my life,
    now and forever more.

  Unconditional love to share,
     you can have it all.
  To you my heart I bare,
    your Little Hearts made me fall.

I love my girls so much.  Somedays I have to pinch myself, then I soon realize that I have been given two precious gifts and we are so lucky to know these little people.

xoxo
Jesse

Ch- ch- ch- ch- ch changes

  I now realize that it has been a long time since I have sat down to write a post in this ol blog of mine.  Not like anyone is sitting on the edge of their seats waiting or anything... right?  Well needless to say, I have been a busy mommy.  The girls have changed so much this last month I can hardly believe it.  I have one baby who is a big talker/ squeaker.... whatever you want to call it.  That baby is Farren.  She is just full of little noises and has totally found her voice.  I love it.  Nellie is also talking a lot just not as much as her twin counterpart.  The cutest thing is when they make little noises they make while looking at each other!  They make high pitched squeals of excitement and smile so big at each other!  
  Personally, I have been feeling overwhelmed in my house!  I sometimes let the work around here get so far behind that it feels really challenging to get caught up!  But I must this week ( my parents are coming for Christmas) and the house must be clean so mom and I can just go shopping!  A good friend of mine gave me the BEST advice when it comes to house work and keeping up or catching up!  She just said to take 10 minutes and just do a small job!  Like clean a cupboard or the fridge or the front closet.  Just a small job that you don't do on a day to day basis, it then feels like you have at least accomplished something!  Does anyone out there have any advice they could lend?  Send it my way. I know that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, I mean its not like my house is a complete disaster, it just feels that way sometimes!  
 Today I was reminded about how blessed I truly am to have such a great family.  I love my little girls more than I can even describe and I feel like Dallas and I truly are figuring this "parenting twin" thing out!  I must get to bed!  This mommy is exhausted!  


xoxo
Jesse

I Heart Routine

  I am sitting here enjoying my coffee while two sets of eyes, ears, hands, and feet are all pointed towards me.  I have two smiling little babies and I just love it!  Three months has just flown by and I can hardly believe that we have made it this far and it has gone fast but slow at the same time.  The changes are incredible.  It feels like somedays they just seriously change right before our eyes.  I am happy to say that the girls are just thriving.  Yesterday we had their 3 month check up and Nellie came in at a whopping 14lb 5oz and Farren at 12lb 14oz!  So there is just over a pound difference between them still!  I seriously almost fell over when I seen that.  I knew that they were heavier, but not that heavy!  I am not complaining!  All of those 430 am feeds have paid off!  I have to say that I am a much rested and happy mom.  The girls basically go to bed anywhere between 830-915 and they usually sleep until about 630 or 730.  I honestly believe that routine has saved us!  Every night they get a bit fussy around 630 so we give them some milk and they are content and we just snuggle them and have a little play till around 730-745, then the fun begins with their baths!  After their baths they get their massages.  This just relaxes them so much and by 815 they are ready to eat again and they wind down and go to sleep.  Every night they get swaddled in their elephant blankets, put in bed ( which is still in our room ) and they get all tucked in right next to each other.  We are very lucky because they just go straight to sleep, never a fuss or a peep out of them.  Its incredible!  So this way Dallas and I get an hour to ourselves with each other! Its fabulous!  So now you all know our routine!
  So every morning when they are waking up I peak in their little bed and see two smiles, they now recognize me as their mamma ( what a great feeling ).  Farren and Nellie now make little talking sounds like "AAAHHH GOOO" and when I say that back they continue and we go back and forth.  Little sweeties.  
  We all know that Christmas is just around the corner so this year I am starting a tradition for the girls.  I am making them photo books.  I know that little kids love looking at pictures of mom and dad, their cousins, grandparents, pets, etc..  Its a great present and a nice keepsake for the girls as they get older.  This way they can see the last year of their life!  I have to take the girls to get their picture with Santa.  That should be a fun day!  I might try the mall today, but we might also just wait till next week!  Crazy line ups for that fat man!
  I should sign off here!  I hope you are all enjoying this mild weather!  Personally I am ready for the snow and cold!  Bring it on!


xo
Jesse

Baby Body

Two weeks before babies

  I have contemplated writing about this topic for a few days.  The last few days I have been thinking about the changes that have occurred regarding my body.  I was talking to Dallas about this the other day and was honestly feeling sorry for myself.  I just thought about when I was pregnant I had never felt more beautiful and full of life.  Now I do understand that not every pregnant women feels like this, but I did.  Now here we are 12 weeks after these two beautiful little babies have been born and I look at myself and realize that I am in complete mommy mode.  Maybe its the exhaustion or just the sheer fact that I have no time to really worry about how I look, but I don't feel even close to as great as I did when I was pregnant.  

Before Babies

  Everything has seemed to "fall" a little bit, if you know what I mean.  My stomach actually does look like a deflated balloon ( I didn't believe women when they told me this would happen ).  This all being said, I wouldn't change it.  In my life I have never had body image issues and I don't want to start down that road and I understand its been only 3 months since the girls have been born and it takes time for things to "bounce" back.  The funny thing about this whole topic is that as women we are harder on ourselves than others are and to someone just looking at me they would never know or even understand why I feel the way I do.  
  In Farren and Nellie's eyes they just don't care, I am their hero.  That is all that really matters, as long as the girls are thriving (and they are) I just will try to not worry so much about how I look.  


Xoxo

 Jesse

Choices

  Today I am aware of the huge gap that I used to have in my life, that piece that was missing.  I thought about my life before the girls and now I can't imagine my life with out both of them.  When you find out that you are having twins you wonder about how you might be able to love them equally.  Or even have enough love for both of them.  However, it is there.  My life has now been changed from being selfish and full of pleasing myself to being completely dedicated to my two amazing little girls.  

Farren loving her tummy

Nellie just smiling

A mommy and her girls

  Now I don't want anyone to be fooled here, those first two months were the easily the most challenging of my life.  I had rose colored glasses on thinking that it would be a walk in the park.  Boy was I wrong.  The challenge isn't in the obvious things like feeding the babies or waking up numerous times in the middle of the night or the challenge of finding a routine.  Instead the difficulty came in all of the choices that I have had to make and find peace with.  The challenge of realizing that I am never going to meet all of the expectations that I had before the babies came.  I thought that I would breast feed exclusively and that was not as easy as I thought it would be.  I think that when someone is pregnant for the first time they need to be told that breast feeding is not easy, that it is challenging, that it is good only when it works.  I was speaking with a friend about releasing this guilt about not breast feeding and I have felt and still do feel guilty about not being able to provide them with the "best start" and she brought up a really great point about feeling guilty about enjoying NOT breast feeding.  I never really thought about that though and it makes a lot of sense to me.  I love the philosophy of attachment parenting, however I don't think that you have to only breast feed to bond with your child nor do you have to always have your child literally attached to you.  You do what is best for you and your child/children.  I love the fact that my girls love their little vibrating chairs because it gives me a break.  Before I used to cringe at the thought of even putting them in one and looking back I was just being too hard on myself, thinking that I wouldn't bond with them if they weren't being held the whole time.  Bonding I believe is a choice and there is no reason to think that you are a "bad" mommy because you can't breast feed or choose not to hold your baby all day, you do what works best for you.  

Farren & Nellie

  I am so glad to "get out" of that little tiny infant stage.  Now I get smiles that are like a "thank you for taking such good care of us" from the girls.  The really are sweet little babies ( and I am not just saying that because they are my babies), but they are extremely laid back.  Farren is more independent and just looks all around with her big eyes.  Nellie is a bit more "needy" and I am really stretching to use that word to describe her.  The girls are so aware now and just love looking around and having some music in the background.  
  Even though the last couple of months seemed to have flown by and I don't remember a lot of the first month or two I am just so excited for the next three months.  They are constantly changing and interacting with Dallas and I.  Its just so rewarding.  
  I hope that you are all embracing the constant changes that life brings.  


xoxo



Jesse

Lucky Lucky!

  Today is a bit of a milestone for a couple of reasons.  First off both the babies slept from 930-600 am.  What a glorious day!  Now I don't expect this to continue, but it is a huge step to know that they BOTH are capable of it!  So 6 hours of sleep in a row feels refreshing.  Secondly, the babies are spending the entire day at Grandma and Grandpas house!  Bev just picked up the girls and is taking them out to her house to spend the day with her.  So today I am having a day in my house all by myself and I am going to clean the entire place, and I might have a nap!
  Nellie and Farren are now 11 weeks old.  I can hardly believe it sometimes.  It feels like we waited so long for little smiles and now they are here.  I can sing weird and crazy little songs to them and make funny sounds and to them I am their little hero.  I am not sure how aware of each other they are yet, but their little personalities are starting to shine through.  I am a very lucky mommy because the girls are so laid back, one might even call them low maintenance ( like their mother ).  With having two babies I am very grateful about this trait.  Their little smiles are just so cute and when they smile their little eyes just light right up.  The other night I was changing Farren and I was so tired, but there was a little silver lining as she screamed for the first time.  It wasn't a scream for food, it was almost a giggle and she scared herself, it was really cute and at 430 am I was laughing at her.
  I am going to post this now because I wrote this on Tuesday and well its Thursday and I have something else to write about!

Cheers!
 

Baby Baby Baby

 So, I just looked and I have started to write like 3 posts and then the girls wake up and I have to stop.  So this morning I hope hope hope that we might get some words on "paper".

Nellie and Farren looking sweet.

  This week itself has been the most challenging for me as a mother and a wife.  Two major things have contributed to these feelings.  The first is that I have decided to stop breast feeding and pumping.  My body is exhausted, I am exhausted and honestly when the babies are sleeping I need to be doing the same thing.  This was a huge decision for me to come to terms with because I wanted so bad to be able to give our girls the very best start in life that they can have.  I have though, I gave them breast milk for close to two months of their lives.  I joined these forums/ groups on Facebook that promote breast feeding, but they just made me feel guilty about even giving my children formula.  I just came to the simple conclusion that I have to make things very simple around my home to be able to make it day to day and when you have two babies that aren't super enthusiastic about breast feeding it makes life complicated and to pump milk 6-8 times a day and not have enough for them just made me feel overwhelmed.  I feel free of it though.  It sounds almost dramatic, but I challenge anyone to try.  Anyways, I don't feel that I have to justify my choice to anyone anymore.  I did the best I could for as long as I could!  I do have to thank Dallas, my mom, my mother in law and my friend Sara for just being the best support system that a girl could have.  It is nice to know that when it feels like everything is unravelling that you can pick up the phone and you have people that love and care not only about me but also my girls.  Being a mom is easily the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but so rewarding in the same breath.  Our girls are flourishing and everyday it seems like they are literally changing right before my eyes.  Its incredible!

Nellie after a bath at Grammas

Sisterly love.

  So the second thing that has made this week "interesting" is the fact that both of our girls have thrush.  It made me feel terrible that I didn't know why they were constantly eating and only sleeping in 1.5 hour intervals.  It has been like this for about 3 weeks.  How did I not know?  I thought this was normal patterns for babies which it is.  So Monday was a day from the hot place, Dallas and I couldn't communicate (which is not normal), the babies were constantly eating from 630 am to 330 in the afternoon and we were all tired.  Needless to say it was a very hairy day for the Campbell home.  So we packed up and went out to Grama and Grampa's house for a break.  Thrush is not fun with two babies.  They were abnormally fussy and up all the time.  So at their doctors appointment on Wednesday she confirmed that they indeed did have thrush and so now we remedy it.  Thursday was a completely different day.  They were content and calm again and that is just one day of the medication.  Poor little dears.
  At their doctors appointment she said they were doing great.  They are getting so big she said, "Are you feeding these girls cream?"  Nellie is weighing in at 10lbs 13oz and Farren is 9lbs 14oz.  So that means they are both almost double their birth weight!  I am so proud of them.  They are both the same length which is 21 inches.  So they are flourishing.  There are two proud parents here with their little girls just growing.

Nellie with her friend Ox.

Farren with her friend Moxy.

  One thing that I do want to mention is the idea of bonding with two babies.  Sometimes I feel terrible that I can't always be holding them, but the most reassuring thing is when you can clearly see that your babies are aware of your presence.  When no one else can calm and soothe them but me I secretly love it.  It must mean that they love their mama.
  I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful Fall that we are experiencing ( for those of you in Aussie, I hope you are enjoying your Spring).

xoxo





Jesse, Nellie and Farren

Hugs Included

  I hope I have a spare moment here to update this neglected blog of mine.  The girls are sound asleep right now and I am enjoying a bright sunny morning and a nice cup of coffee and a muffin.  I have soiled sleepers soaking in my bathroom sink, bottles to clean, laundry to do and a bedroom to clean today, but that can all wait.  What a whirlwind time in life!  Now that Dallas is back at work this is life as we know it.  I have never been so exhausted but full of life at the same time!  The girls are doing amazing and they are just changing everyday.  They were 5 weeks yesterday!  Some mornings I pick them up out of their crib (which is right next to my side of the bed) and they feel so much heavier than they did the day before.  I am pretty sure by the time we go to see their pediatrician that Nellie will be close to 12lbs and Farren will be near 11!  They are just healthy and happy little people.  

Nellie being really cute!

Mom stealing a kiss from Nellie

  I can't help but think about all of the expectations that I had through out my pregnancy all of which were exceeded.  The expectations about my labor which didn't go as I thought but nonetheless we have two beautiful girls out of the ordeal!  And I have no regrets.  What has far exceeded any expectations that I had is how much these two babies have changed my life (our life).  I would do anything to make them happy as they in such a short period of time have brought me a lifetime of happiness already.  Its those little eyes that pierce my heart, those tight grips on my finger when we are feeding, the way they freak out in the middle of eating like I am going to take their food away and starve them, but mostly I am so grateful for enough love for both girls and Dallas.  All that I ask for everyday is that I would be able to provide enough support and love to sustain my little family through the day.  My patience has been stretched at times, but its worth every uncomfortable moment and every tear shed.  

Farren being sweet after her bath

  One thing that I wanted to write about is the expectations that mothers (myself included) put on themselves to try and do everything and be everything to everyone.  It didn't take me long to figure out that if mommy breaks down the whole system breaks down.  I did not break down, but there were a few days in a row with very little sleep.  Sometimes I think that the two most needy people in our home aren't Nellie and Farren instead I think that it might be Dallas and I.  Trying to find that perfect balance between parenting and your marriage might be the biggest challenge.  I am thankful that Dallas is very patient with me, because there have been times when I have "lost my cool"with him.  Everyday I just make sure he knows that I love him more now than I did yesterday and we always make sure we take time to spend talking with each other and there is always many hugs included. 

  So I will conclude this post by saying that in our little home there has never been so much love inside of these four walls.  Through the sleepless nights, poop, crying, feedings and lack of personal hygiene all I can say is that I feel this is the best time in my life.   

  

xoxo 

Jesse, Farren & Nellie

Flying Time

  I once heard a joke about a boy who threw a clock out the window so he could see time fly... well I think once that boy was a man all he had to do was have a baby or two!  Nel and Farren were two weeks old yesterday.  It seems like so long ago yet it wasn't at all.  I have to say those first two nights were weary times, Dallas is not a person who likes to be woken up out of a deep sleep at 2 am.  I can't blame him at all its a new experience.  That being said, the babies are so content right now.  They let us know when they are hungry and we get some type of food in them, then they get changed and they are ready for more sleeping.  So the whole process in the middle of the night takes about an hour for both babies.  They are sleeping around 3.5 hours at a time, I honestly don't mind doing that 230-330 morning shift when Dallas gets up at 630 for the next, its like I am getting close to 5-6 hours of sleep then and that is amazing.  I know that it won't always be like that, but I am so glad they are so close to the same schedule right now.  
  Anyways, its interesting to watch how much they change even over night.  Farren just loves to look around with her big eyes and she wrinkles up her forehead when you talk to her like she totally understands what you are saying.  Nelly is a big snuggler she has to be rocked to sleep after a feed and let me tell you she has some major lungs, when she is hungry you know it!  So the whole diaper thing... I didn't think I would be able to change them with all the poop and everything, but its actually not that bad.  They seem to poop a lot... what's with all of that poop?  
  Well two weeks have passed and the girls are doing well, we have them home and we are still functioning and they are still alive and seem to be happy so we must be doing something right.  I just wanted to update and just give you a glimpse into our lives.  So basically it involves eating, sleeping, pooping with a lot of snuggles.  


xoxo
Jesse, Nell and Farren

Jesse's Girls... and Dallas' too

Day before babies

  Hi everyone.  Well the day arrived!  On Sunday August 21st I gave birth to two beautiful baby girls.  Nellie Camille weighed 6lbs 1oz and came out screaming and Farren Elsie weighed 5lbs 1oz and she also came out with some good lungs!  They were both 46.5 cm long and very healthy.  The week leading up the birth was one of the longest of my life.  I was completely exhausted and I think the doctor realized that between having PUPPS and carrying two large babies my body was telling me it was ready.
  Dallas and I were awake at 530 am on Saturday morning because the anticipation was just killing us.  So I won't go into too much detail other than I was in labour for 14 hours and when it was all said and done we were to have the babies via c-section.  We couldn't get past 5 cm and little Farren was breech with her feet in the way.  Nellie was born first at 221 am and Farren was born a short, but long 2 minutes later.
  I have never in my life felt more complete as a person as when I heard those first cries escape from both of their bodies.  I was overcome by more emotions than I have ever experienced in all of my life.  I knew that I was going to give birth to two souls in a matter of minutes and nothing can prepare you for the moment that you first hear them and get a glance at their little feet and arms flailing.  That moment I looked at their little faces and seen myself in them was the most magical moment, words cannot describe, but I am sure those of you reading know what I am talking about.  

Nellie on the left Farren on
the right.

Nel and Farren

  The girls were considered premature by one week so the week since they have been born we have been in the Special Care Nursery, it is the NICU but sounds better than saying they are in intensive care.  It has been a long 9 days having them in there, but there is a silver lining to it all.  The nurses in there ( they are all honorary aunties) have been beyond wonderful and the hospital in general has exceeded all of my expectations.  I have a new respect for nursing and the dedication these women have to their jobs.  They answer questions that I have asked over and over, they encourage you to stay positive when it was so hard to and they just are generally kind and considerate.  I honestly don't know what I would have done without their care and support this last week.  Having to leave your babies every night for a week is hard, but knowing that they have the worlds best baby sitters was comforting.  So here we are at the place that you dream of when your babies are not with you at home, they are coming home tomorrow!  They have both gained weight beyond their birth weight and they are both breast and bottle feeding.  So the light that used to seem so far away at the end of the tunnel is much closer.  Though the end is near at the Nursery life is really just beginning for us a family.  I know their daddy is just so excited to have a big snuggle with his girls on his couch in his home.  He has been whistling Baby Beluga the last couple days and it just does my heart so good to hear him do that.  Something so small and little yet so sweet at the same time.  
  The journey from the beginning of our pregnancy to the end has been such an amazing experience and although most of the "plans" and ideas that I had of the way I thought it would be didn't turn out no part of me is disappointed.  When it is all said and done we have been doubly blessed with two beautiful baby girls.  Thanks for following us on the first leg of our journey!  Let the chaos begin!  


xoxo
Jesse, Dally, Farren and Nellie



Doesn't that just sound so great!

Katelyn & Haley

How do you like the make over?  I thought that since we were getting so close to having babies and Fall is just around the corner I would switch things up and make things more "girlie" around this blog of mine.  So here we are quickly approaching 36 weeks (tomorrow), but before I even can think of getting into this post and writing about anything regarding myself I must must must tell you all that my sister had her babies on Sunday!  It was actually her Monday, but our Sunday!  So Haley Madison and Katelyn May arrived safely weighing a respectable 5 lbs 5 oz and 5 lbs 6 oz.  They are eating well and Mommy is getting some well deserved rest after a tough go with the epidural.  Not to get into too many details, but Jill had to be put under general anesthetic because the doc couldn't get the needle to go in her spine. At the end of it are these two beautiful baby girls.  Jill wrote me an email and said that she feels complete now (I hope so, you better not get pregnant in 6 weeks)!  She now has her four girls and adoring husband and now she can just be a mommy to all the girls and a non pregnant wife to Mark (which I am sure he will appreciate).  They are just perfect and I love them already.  Its times like this that make it hard to be apart though, I want to be there to hold Jills hand and give her a hug and kiss and tell her that she is an amazing mother and has been so strong, but I can't.  Its just the reality of everything though.  I am sure that there will be long conversations on Skype over the next years while all of our children grow and change...
  So onto our ultra sound today.  I was patiently waiting and the tech was about a half hour late, but I read a good article in Readers Digest so it wasn't that big of a deal really.  We got in there and she was super chatty, unlike most of the ultra sound technicians we have had who are normally sombre and quiet, so for me that was great.  It turns out that at almost 36 weeks our babies are 5 lbs 13oz and 5 lbs 5 oz already.  So that is a really great size!  I mean its not exact or anything, but nonetheless I am very proud of my little pork chops.  The other really great news was that the baby who is in position "a" her head is down and engaged!  So lets keep our fingers crossed that we will be able to have a "natural" birth.  This week has reeked havoc on my body, yet again I am facing another very interesting symptom or side effect of a surge of hormones.  I have broken out in hives pretty much on all of my joints, so my ankles, knees, elbows, shoulders and wrists to be exact.  Those along with an extremely itchy tummy make for uncomfortable nights.  I just am trying so so hard to just keep the end in sight and stay focused and realize that we are so close to these babies I can practically hear them crying!  I see the doc on Friday so I hope that he will have some more insight into why this has been going on.  As far as I understand is there is a lot of pressure on my ol' liver and since the skin is our largest organ the liver is detoxing through my skin which is causing the hives.  So we shall see.  I have taken an antihistamine and it seems to take the edge off of the itch.  So that is nice.

35 Weeks...

  Well my friends today we are officially 35 weeks!  I cannot believe we have only a short 3 week window until the babies will be here in our lives and come to their first home!  Its crazy to me to think about time and how it just slowly passes and yet it is so fast.  Last night I was reading a book that I have read throughout this pregnancy and I can't believe we are at the "Bringing Babies Home" chapter (which I have already read... like 3 months ago), but still we are almost there.  The end is in sight.  I keep telling myself to stay positive because our world will be flipped upside down very soon, but when you get this close and you feel this big (all 200 pounds of me), you just start to feel "finished."
  I think about how amazing it will be to meet them for the first time.  We will have our own babies now, we can't just hold them and snuggle them and send them on their way, these babies will be ours... forever.  I just can barely take it in somedays.  I can't wait to hear that newborn cry and that first time we get to hold them.  We already love these little babies so much I can't imagine loving them even more when they are here.
  There has been some indication that the time nigh, I have had more Braxton Hicks contractions ( I am willing each one of them to be a real one anytime)... now I might be weird but I am really curious about how a real contraction actually feels... I just want to feel one so bad!  There are a few other indications about impending labor just generally feeling like its time.  Call it instinct or whatever or maybe I am just anxious or maybe I am coming out in sympathy for my sister (who has her c-section scheduled for Monday).  I kind of want our babies to all be born on the same day... is that really asking too much?
  There are a lot of feeling to sift through when the end is near.  I was just saying to Dallas last night that before we were counting down in months then it was near enough that we could start counting down in weeks, and here we are counting down the days till we are officially parents!  Crazy!  I hope you are all having a fabulous day!

Much Love
xoxo
Jesse and Babies

Expectations

  Well well well... here we have made it 34 weeks yesterday!  I must revoke some comments I made in my last post, the more that I read and talk to people the better it is if these little girls stay in awhile longer and I get a gold medal.  So... our new goal will be to make it to 36 weeks.  I feel stretched beyond my comfort levels at this point, but I try to leave the house once a day just to keep my sanity.  I took the dog for a walk yesterday and he was not impressed with my speed to say the least.  He kept looking back at me with big eyes that said, " Come on I know you can go faster than this."  He was a patient companion and when we hit the park the leash came off and he soon forgot how slow I am and he was going to all of his little spots to mark his territory. 
  Today I was thinking about expectations during pregnancy.  I have far exceeded any expectations that I have set for myself and this pregnancy and I am proud of that.  Not in a way to rub it in anyones face, but I made little goals for myself regarding a variety of things and I am so glad that I have met most of them.  I am glad that I can say that I have had an amazing pregnancy and that the babies seem to be thriving.  All I wanted was to be healthy and more importantly for the babies to be healthy too and now here we are ready to meet them really anytime and I honestly still feel pretty good.  Maybe more emotional at times, but its ok to feel that way and its completely normal too!  So I do have a lot to be proud of.  I have never doubted the ability that I had to carry these babies to a healthy point and I feel that if they weren't happy in their little womb that they would let me know and would have shown their little faces already, I am just amazed at what the human (woman's) body can endure!  Now with all the expectations that have been met, I must say that I had some pretty high expectations about the birthing/ laboring part of this.  I will say now that no matter how these babies arrive into this world, that day will be ranked right up there as the best day of our life.  I think that the moment that we found out that our one baby was in a breech position my opinion changed about how to birth the babies.  Obviously, I would rather have a natural birth, but when it comes down to it the only thing that matters is that the babies and I are safe.  If the doctor recommends and early epidural for safety reasons I have to humble myself and know that he is the one who has delivered babies not me, I have read a few books though!  It does make me sigh though.  I realize now that a multiple birth is different than a single birth and there are so many factors play into your "birth plan."  I will just anticipate that day and whatever happens happens and as long as the babies are safe I will be happy.
  I do want to update you all on our doctors appointment that we had on Tuesday.  I met our new OB and he was super nice!  Just upbeat and really enthusiastic!  The babies heart rates were still really good, my BP was a bit higher than it has been, but I have also been retaining more water than usual.  My weight didn't change (thankfully I am still 198)  thats a lot of weight for a small human like myself!  He said that with multiples he likes to give an early epidural so incase one comes out naturally and the other doesn't budge it is easier for maneuvering ( I won't get into too many details there, maybe use your imagination), it also helps to reduce the chance that we would have a normal birth and a c-section.  We  have another ultra sound booked for August 17th and then we see him on the 19th again.  We'll see if we can make it to those dates though.  He wasn't totally convinced that I would and neither am I really!  
  The anticipation is killing me now.  I just can't wait to see Dallas' face when his daughters are born and he gets to see them for the first time.  Now we just wait.  I will keep you all posted!


xoxo
Jesse and Babies

I Will Humble Myself and Accept Third Place... Please!

  So here I am and its early afternoon and I have had my morning bath/ reading time and I just put my jammies back on!  I did get a load of laundry in the washer and have plans on doing a few more loads.  Laundry is my enemy right now!  Haha... I am sure it will only get "better".  So wow how so much changes in not a short period of time.  I have this feeling, call it intuition or whatever you want, but I think that these little girls are going to be coming into this world sooner than later.  I don't want to complain, because I have done well up to this point with keeping my complaints to a minimum, but I am super uncomfortable now.  I have feet that look like they belong to an elephant (my ankles have disappeared), my right hand/ arm is unavailable a lot of the time due to some awesome side effect called carpel tunnel ( I hope that goes away ) oh and the most strange thing that I think has happened to me, it that the swelling in my gums has caused my front teeth to separate!  There is now a visible space between them, its kind of cute though!  
  We are approaching 34 weeks now and I read that at this point it would be considered a bronze medal, 35 weeks is a silver medal and 36 weeks is a gold medal!  Ha... I am in NO competition though, and I have always been a humble loser.  So a bronze medal would be great!  Personally I think that the gold should be for 34 weeks... just a thought.  I have more Braxton Hicks contractions now much more frequently and cramping along side them... so signs are pointing to our girls showing up soon.  
  My sister is also still pregnant with her girls, I wonder what kind of coincidence that would be if we had our babies on the same day... too bad we couldn't really plan that... we might be offered some type of reward.  
  So the list of the things to do in our house has started to bother me.  If there ever was a time to procrastinate now is not the time, but like most humans I work better when there is a bit of stress involved.  Its not really a considerable amount of anything that needs to get done, just a lot of little things that have piled up.  So today I will be making a list and that list will be cleared by Friday... I hope.  
  I am really excited to meet our next OB and see what he is like.  I hope he's as nice as the last one.  We meet with him on Wednesday.  This week we are also getting our car seats put in properly!  If there is anything that stresses me out that would be it!  So I have enlisted the help of someone to help us do them properly!  No stress that way!    I guess today's post has no real purpose, maybe just an update.  Who knows maybe it will be the last one till the babies come... but maybe not!  Either way we will try to keep you posted!
  My washer is singing to me and that is telling me that its time for the next load.  I hope you are all enjoying these nice summer days mixed with some wicked thunder storms in the evening!  


xoxo
Jesse and Babies

Just an Update

  As we inch closer and closer and the weeks fly by I can't help but feel a bit anxious.  Some nights I am up (usually to go to the bathroom), and I can't fall asleep because I keep thinking about everything that needs to still be finished.  They aren't major, but they weigh on my mind.  Like my spice cupboard... I know that it desperately needs to be organized and cleaned out, but I just don't have really want to do it.  I should make some meals and freeze them, but I feel so tired!  There is a big long list of "should do's" but they can wait.  I have to say that the last couple of days I have been by far the most tired I have been through my pregnancy.  Its like the only type of mammal that hibernates in the summer is a pregnant woman.  I am specifically speaking for myself here.  

32 weeks!

  The babies have been moving so much, apparently its supposed to slow down, but I just don't think they will!  I think that they are going to be busy little girls.  I was saying to Dallas that we are going to have to take them to the park in the evening when they are bigger and run them ragged so they sleep, he already thought of that and has picked out some parks that are close to do that.  He is looking forward to taking them for bike rides and so am I.  I just want to be an active family that spends time together.  When we were little supper time was always so much fun, I just remember sitting around the table and everyone talking about their day and laughing.  Thats how I want our children to grow up.  

  Oh a new development is that we have bought a minivan!  Its not new, its not very "pretty", but we are so happy with it!  The seats are plush and there is a ton of room in it for babies, strollers, dogs and groceries.  I just love how everything seems to fall into place when you need it to.  I want to attach a couple of links of a great website for a few little baby things that my parents got for us.  The company is called Woombie and they have a lot of really great things!  

First off is the Donut Woombie, it is like a portable mattress that actually looks really comfortable!  I wonder if they make these for adults!?!?  My thinking is this will be perfect for an afternoon at Grandma and Grandpa's or even for the babes to lay on in the living room!  I am so excited to get this!

http://www.woombie.com/the_woombie_donut.html

Secondly is the Convertible Woombie, it just looks so comfortable.  Its to swaddle the babies and if they don't like it then you can just make it into a sleep sack so their arms are out.  

http://www.woombie.com/convertible_woombie.html

Doesn't that baby look so comfy and peaceful?  I am hoping that they will make our little babies comfortable and peaceful too.  

Just wanted to share those two little things with everyone!  This week Mom also ordered us two ring slings off of Etsy.  Now that is a dangerous website!  If you haven't ever heard of it, beware!  Most everything is handmade and so much of it is SO affordable.  I love the baby stuff, maybe when the girlies are a bit older I will find something for myself on there!

Anyways.  I just felt the need to write a little post tonight.  We are all still feeling well, just tired.  Dallas is a trooper, just the most selfless man I have ever met.  He gets the bedroom ready for my nap with pillows to prop up my feet and a gets nice cool breeze going in the room and takes me for ice cream without even questioning it.  He is going to be the best Daddy.  He said yesterday that it is special when your friends children smile and coo at you, so he can't even imagine what that will feel like when our little babies start to recognize us and do the same.  

  Just a few more weeks and our life as we know it will never be the same.  I can't hardly wait!  

xoxo

Jesse and Babies

Final Four!

  Well here we are 1 day shy of 32 weeks.  I cannot believe how fast this has went!  Technically in like 3-6 weeks we will have our little girls here at home with us ( I hope ), and life as we know it will never be the same.  Which to me is a good thing.  I am ready for the challenge, I have been saying that parenting twins must really bring out the true character of the people who are parenting them.  I first must say that I am just in awe at how amazing Dallas has been through this entire journey.  He never once complains about the never ending "to do list before babies come," and he just happily gets me a tea in the morning and if I need it, helps me out of bed.  Just an amazing dad in waiting.  One of the moments that I look forward to the most is just seeing him holding our little babies and that look of love I know he will have when he sees his little girls for the first time.  Must remember pictures!
  So to bring you all up to speed on what is going on; we are going to be 32 weeks tomorrow, I have been counting this pregnancy in weeks of 4 so that means we are basically on our last 4 weeks... the home stretch!  YAY!  I had an ultra sound on the 12th and the babies were looking really good!  They are both about 4 pounds each already, so I think that my body must grow babies really efficiently!  I was just glad to hear that, although I know that just because they are a good weight doesn't mean that they are ready to join this world yet... I am happy for them to stay put for awhile yet.  The ultra sound tech said that the babies move so much that he had a hard time taking pictures of them... he said that its good that they were "bad" babies, movement is a good thing.  Yesterday I had my last appointment with my OB, I am being switched to a different one because mine is going on holidays!  But he says that the next doc will take good care of us too!  I will miss my South African doctor with baseball mitt hands, he calls me deary and sweet.  The appointment went well, its incredible how fast and how much the body changes in a few short weeks though!  I went from just having an abundance of energy and being able to do almost everything without much trouble and now I have swollen feet that are like the Elephant Man, my gums are not quite as swollen as my feet but close and I have lovely carpel tunnel in my right hand.  I guess when you consider what I could have I am really lucky!  So I will take it and know that it is just the hormones surging through my small frame.  I also stood on the scale and could not believe my eyes!  I weighed a whopping 198 pounds, but the doc said that 7-8 of that is the water that I am retaining in my legs and feet... so that made me feel better, kind of.  The babes heart rates are good, they are like little champs in there!  At this rate he figures they will be be over 6 pounds when they are born!  That was my goal!  Good 6 pounders!  
  I have to say that even though there has been some discomfort over the last couple weeks or so, it is not unbearable.  You have to have the rain before you can have the rainbows right!  I am just everyday thankful that our little babies are healthy and that I am too!  I am thankful for a supportive husband, family and friends.  I think that when you surround yourself with positivity that it easily rubs off on you. I have learned in the last month that EVERYONE will give you unsolicited advice about EVERYTHING and it is just my choice to take it or leave it.  I have to admit that sometimes it brings me down when people get all up in my business, but I know they mean well.  That being said I have been given some really wonderful insight to raising twins!  I guess that when it boils down to it we all have a different experience, its like you can never have the same exact feeling ever two times.  No matter how hard you try the experience will never be the same as someone else's and it will never match an experience you have had. 
  I hope that you are all enjoying this weather we are having, enjoy the rain too!


xoxo
Jesse and Babies

Babies Bedroom

Birdie mobile that I made

 This has easily and quickly become my favorite room in the house!

Fantastic crib!

Wall Decal, sorry its blurry!

More decal and change table

Is this Co Sleeping?!?

Better picture of decal!

Almost There!

  I have been very tardy with updating this blog of mine, isn't that normal though?  Becoming complacent and just "not having the time."  That is not an excuse for me, as I have nothing but time now a days!  To bring you all up to speed here, I am not working much anymore.  Just a little bit here and there which is nice.  I haven't really felt that need to nest around my house as I have gotten a lot of things done, I do have a list though!  Soon I will start checking things off of that list, I just needed a few days to do nothing!  So that is what I have done.  I have dove into a book and I am not sure if that is a good thing or not...
  We are moving right along with this pregnancy!  We are now 30 weeks, which is amazing to me!  Technically in like 5-8 weeks we will parents to two babies at once!  I can hardly believe it somedays.  I am still in awe of the human body and what it is capable of.  Now I must say that I have started to become uncomfortable!  I have had a couple of new symptoms pop up swollen feet, Dallas likes to call me club foot, its interesting for sure.  Along with the feet my gums are also really swollen and bleed a lot, but not to worry I was proactive and went to the dentist a couple weeks ago and have been taking good care of that!  I have difficulty breathing when I lay down, so I am taking a homeopathic thing for that and it really works!  I am just thinking to myself that I have been really lucky!  If these few minor symptoms is all that has crept up in 30 weeks surely I can make it another 8!  The weather has not been bothering me too much either!  I find that if I sit outside in the sun I can handle maybe 15 minutes then I have to find some shade or go inside for a wee break, but no hot flashes!  I consider myself lucky.  On Tuesday we have our next ultra sound, we are so excited to see our little girls again!  I can't imagine how much they have grown, I can feel it though.  Just incredible to wake up and feel those little nudges and kicks and pokes, I will miss that.  The doctor isn't concerned about anything at this point, we have been cleared for diabetes and anemia, so there are no worries.  Dallas and I have started a journal this last week for the girls, we wanted something in our writing to remind us and to show them how we were feeling these last couple of months, it is sweet and it makes me cry to see a Daddy in waiting so eager to teach his little girls how to be aggressive soccer players.  Oh a funny thing too, the last two weeks or maybe three, Dallas has set up the tent and has slept in it, as I am big and its uncomfortable to share a bed right now.  I toss and turn so he graciously sleeps outside every night!  I think its so cute how every night he says goodnight and walks out the front door and unzips his tent and sleeps out there.  What a great guy!  
  I did want to mention something here and I think that it is so important for all mommies to be and even for those who are trying to be mommies.  The importance of a GOOD prenatal vitamin and a few other supplements.  Now maybe I have gone over board, I don't know, but I contribute a lot of my good pregnancy to the vitamins and a healthy diet.  I have taken a prenatal vitamin ( Centrum ) and yes it is more expensive, but it is packed full of all of the good stuff that those babies are taking from me.  In addition to this I also have been on a calcium magnesium pill too.  They say that you are supposed to take vitamin D with this because it helps to absorb the calcium better, but I drink a lot of milk and orange juice and get a lot of calcium anyways.  I tried the vitamin D and I found for me that I had a hard time sleeping!  The other one that I have been taking is an Omega 3.  I started with a 3-6-9, but during pregnancy you really just need to focus on the Omega 3.  So that is what I started to take and I found a vitamin that was an Omega 3 Prenatal.  This is such an important one for those little brains that are growing inside of me (and mine too I am sure).   Now some women might think that a prenatal isn't going to "do much" after the first 3 months or so, but I assure that is not the case.  When you have little babies or baby growing inside of you and taking all the nutrients that are usually going to you then you are left with very little to sustain yourself and your health.  The vitamins aren't a substitute for food, instead they help your body to cope with what it might be lacking during pregnancy.  Just another thing that I have learnt too and many of you might already know this!  Keep taking your prenatal as long as you are breast feeding, and switch to an Omega 3-6.  As women we need to always keep our calcium levels up to prevent disease like osteoporosis, so I will continue to take that as well.  
  This is something that I really think has helped me during my pregnancy, I know that everybody's bodies are different, but it really can't hurt you or your babies to give a little extra of this and that.
  I hope that you are all doing well and thank you to those who have been such a great support system through this journey!  Not long now and we will have our little babies at home!


xoxo
Jesse and Babies  

Fashionable and Pregnant... is this EVEN Possible?

  First off I have to thank Jessica for featuring me on her blog.  Jessica and I often find ourselves speaking about fashion and trying to define our own individual style with words.  I have thought about this for a couple of days since I knew I would be a feature and I have come to the conclusion that everyday we have to define our style.  Maybe one day we will have a vintage look with a hint of boho and the next we feel classic yet effortless.  Style is something that evolves over a period of time with influences from everything from nature to classic 1960's style icons.  I always try to not judge people's fashion sense (well unless it is horrendous) because it is such an individual thing and really anything goes these days!  So that being said, here I am 7 months pregnant with twins and still trying to maintain my own sense of style.  I have grown so rapidly the last month so it feels like I have kind of rotated a few outfits with some variations each time I wear them.  I guess that if I was to try and define my style from day to day it would be what Jessica refers to as effortless with a hint of boho (and a lot of the time I don't match), but that is me.  I suppose I try to keep a modest neck line but I like to show a bit of leg when it permits.  
  So my advice to pregnant women about maintaining their sense of style during this time in life is just that, stay true to yourself!  Do everything to feel beautiful and celebrate the changes that your body is going through.  Don't hide under frumpy layers and hide your growing tummy instead embrace the changes and enjoy the journey.  There is something very special about being pregnant (obviously), but I mean about the way you feel about yourself (maybe this is just me).  I have never felt so healthy and beautiful and its all because I am sustaining lives inside of me.  I once heard someone say that instead of wishing nine months away and complaining about pregnancy she would embrace this time and enjoy every moment that it brought.  Now I understand that some women have a tough time during the 8-10 months of carrying babies, but you have to have the rain to enjoy the rainbow at the end of it right?  
  Ok back to fashion... I have a couple pieces of advice that I have found work for me and I hope they will work for you!  First off... don't kid yourself. There are clothes in your closet and drawers that likely won't fit you for close to a year to a year and half after you enter your 2nd trimester (for me it was the middle of the 1st), so take the time and get them out of sight!  Pack them up and put them aside for a year and when you feel that the time is right unpack them and its like Christmas!  My whole thing was that I didn't want to feel depressed that I couldn't fit into certain favorite items so I just took them out of the whole picture, I mean its not like we were saying goodbye forever, it is just a temporary break from each other.  Absence makes the heart grows fonder right!?!  Secondly, if you are going to invest in maternity clothes you don't have to buy them from a maternity store!  I know this is hard to grasp for some people, but it is true.  I did have to buy a pair of jeans, but that is pretty much the only major purchase I made from a maternity store!  I am not trying to say that maternity stores aren't valuable, but there ARE other options.  Just be creative!  I tried to buy clothes that I know I will wear after the babies arrive and that aren't super expensive.  That was the thing about maternity stores, I found that for the prices vs. the amount of time you would actually wear the clothes it wasn't worth it.  So my favorite places to find affordable "cross over" maternity clothes have been H&M and Joe Fresh from Superstore.  I am a total dress girl, so I purchased dresses that I could wear now and after.  H&M has a very small maternity section and I did buy a couple pieces from them, but again I can wear them afterwards.  I am vertically challenged and have always been super intimidated by maxi dresses, but I broke down and tried one and I fell in love with it!  So I bought another!  Who can honestly argue with a floral, Little House on the Prairie maxi dress for $14.95?  Honestly.  I had to be honest with myself and realize that I am not going to be a size 8 for a LONG time, so I am going to try and embrace the changes now and not freak out afterwards when I haven't "slimmed" down.  I guess I should inject here that I am frugal, cheap, thrifty what ever you want to call it... the only thing I don't mind putting money out for are of course shoes!  And if I can find them for a deal I will!  Believe me!  I wouldn't say that I have a shoe fetish of any sorts (like some people I know... ahem... Jessica), I would say my heart belongs to scarfs.  They are the BEST accessory and the best way to inject a bit of color and a funky pattern to an outfit that would otherwise blah.  So my last piece of advice while to trying to maintain your sense of style during pregnancy is just to enjoy the changes happening as they happen.  Don't "hate" your body during this time, embrace it.  Enjoy this time when it is socially acceptable to have, for lack of a better term, a fat belly.  I don't necessarily mean wear spandex dresses that are so tight you can't breathe, but wear pieces that are flattering in any occasion.  Be true to yourself and stay positive about your ever changing body.  I have heard so many mommies tell me they miss their tummy after the little babies enter the world... so take that and run with it.  
Enjoy the journey!
xoxo
Jesse and Babies


The photo's to go along with this post are on Jessica's blog!  Check them out!


www.jandtbrake.blogspot.com

Happy and Healthy

So we are slowly but surely approaching the final stages of this pregnancy.  Our third trimester is around the corner and I am still feeling pretty great!  I have had some blood taken today to make sure that I am not anemic, its pretty standard.  It is amazing how the weeks have honestly flown by!  I remember laying there wishing that I could feel movement and longing for the day when we could see the belly movement, well my friends those days are here.  I could honestly sit there and watch them all day, though sometimes uncomfortable I am reminded that there are two tiny humans inside there fighting for space.
  As some of you know my sister is also expecting twins, crazy I know.  She has had a really tough go this pregnancy, so I think of her often and wish that there was someway that I could take some of the angst she has experienced.  I am thankful that I have had a healthy pregnancy up to this point, and hopefully will continue to do so.  I am not diabetic, nor am I anemic and I haven't had a single cold or flu.  Jill has had a combination of all of these conditions in this one pregnancy.  So I think about her a lot and her babies.  I think she is 30 weeks this week and I just hope and pray she can make it to 35 weeks and have some good healthy little girls (oh right she is also having two girls)!
This week I am doing a "guest post" on a friend of mines blog!  Now how exciting is that?  She has a fashion/ lifestyle blog that I adore!  I feel that I have lost some steam and running out of ideas about what to write, so I am hoping that writing for Jessica will give me some motivation and keep those creative juices flowing.  Oh yeah... so my guest post will be about maintaing your sense of style during pregnancy.  I just think it is so important to feel beautiful during this time when our bodies are changing so quickly and drastically.  I am not sure how many outfits we are going to feature, but I am looking forward to having a morning of all things fashion!
So hold onto your hats people!  We are slowly but surely approaching that coveted third trimester whilst trying to keep a positive attitude about all of the uncomfortableness that is awaiting!
Here is a link to Jessica's blog... its so great!  If you have the time to look at it I adore it!
www.jandtbrake.blogspot.com

I hope you are all enjoying the sunshine while it is here!

xoxo
Jesse and Babies

Blossoming

  So this week has actually been better than I thought it would go!  Dallas is away till Friday, so that means that he would be gone for a week!  Now under normal circumstances (that's me not being a hormone casserole last week), this trip would not be a big deal at all.  For some reason carrying two babies, being at home alone for a week and not being able to communicate AT ALL with your husband was a big deal.  However, that being said, this week has been great!  The weekend it was nice to do nothing and not feel guilty about not getting dressed on Saturday and napping for a total of 8 hours on the weekend... when I sleep like that my Mom always says, "Well you must have needed it."  I guess I really did.
  On Monday my dear friend came down from Edmonton and helped me get our basement "guest" ready... and it looks FABULOUS!  So I am no longer scared to take people to that side of the basement... now the other side is another story and maybe a whole weekend of purging... that is a scary thought.

Lily, babies and I at 25 weeks!

  I guess more importantly on Monday (sorry Layne), was the appointment with our Obstetrician.  Thankfully I looked on the calendar, because it was at 9 am and NOT 1 pm... I would have been SO mad if I had missed that one!  We went over all of my pregnancy thus far and he doesn't seen concerned about anything.  The babies are growing right along like they are supposed to and he thinks I have fabulous boots!  Ha... Fashion Mommy!  Sorry, no he said I have gorgeous hemoglobin, never been told that before.  But it sounded so nice!  My BP was good again, and the babies heart rates are almost the same! One baby was 130 and the other was 131.
  I did step on the scale yesterday, and to my delight I weight a whopping 181 lbs!  Can you believe it, I am thankful for those years of back catching that have helped me to keep some strong legs to carry all of this weight around.  Would I ever want to put on this much weight any other time, doubtful. So here we are almost 26 weeks and I am measuring like a 31 week pregnant lady with one babe!  Crazy... I guess that I am allowed to be tired and irrational when my husband leaves... right?
  Last week at the Chiropractor she mentioned that in a few weeks I will look down and not believe how much I have grown, well... it didn't take a few weeks, its happened, I had THAT moment.  It is great though, its a miracle what the body can do to support two lives living inside of another body.  They might be sucking out all of my energy, but that's what they are supposed to do.  If they weren't I would be concerned!  Still the only complaint that I have is an unbelievable sore back!  Bathing twice a day never bothered me before, so now I enjoy it even more ( the babies move so much during our baths together ).
  I guess its three sleeps till their daddy gets home, its a weird feeling not having him around, our little family is separated for the first time, wow that though actually just came to me!  He deserves a break from everything too!  All I am saying is that he better take me for a steak when he gets back!

I hope you are all having a great week!

xoxo
Jesse & Babes

**Oh... I wanted to post a picture of the wall decal, we put it up last week...

Wall decal