Hugs Included

  I hope I have a spare moment here to update this neglected blog of mine.  The girls are sound asleep right now and I am enjoying a bright sunny morning and a nice cup of coffee and a muffin.  I have soiled sleepers soaking in my bathroom sink, bottles to clean, laundry to do and a bedroom to clean today, but that can all wait.  What a whirlwind time in life!  Now that Dallas is back at work this is life as we know it.  I have never been so exhausted but full of life at the same time!  The girls are doing amazing and they are just changing everyday.  They were 5 weeks yesterday!  Some mornings I pick them up out of their crib (which is right next to my side of the bed) and they feel so much heavier than they did the day before.  I am pretty sure by the time we go to see their pediatrician that Nellie will be close to 12lbs and Farren will be near 11!  They are just healthy and happy little people.  

Nellie being really cute!

Mom stealing a kiss from Nellie

  I can't help but think about all of the expectations that I had through out my pregnancy all of which were exceeded.  The expectations about my labor which didn't go as I thought but nonetheless we have two beautiful girls out of the ordeal!  And I have no regrets.  What has far exceeded any expectations that I had is how much these two babies have changed my life (our life).  I would do anything to make them happy as they in such a short period of time have brought me a lifetime of happiness already.  Its those little eyes that pierce my heart, those tight grips on my finger when we are feeding, the way they freak out in the middle of eating like I am going to take their food away and starve them, but mostly I am so grateful for enough love for both girls and Dallas.  All that I ask for everyday is that I would be able to provide enough support and love to sustain my little family through the day.  My patience has been stretched at times, but its worth every uncomfortable moment and every tear shed.  

Farren being sweet after her bath

  One thing that I wanted to write about is the expectations that mothers (myself included) put on themselves to try and do everything and be everything to everyone.  It didn't take me long to figure out that if mommy breaks down the whole system breaks down.  I did not break down, but there were a few days in a row with very little sleep.  Sometimes I think that the two most needy people in our home aren't Nellie and Farren instead I think that it might be Dallas and I.  Trying to find that perfect balance between parenting and your marriage might be the biggest challenge.  I am thankful that Dallas is very patient with me, because there have been times when I have "lost my cool"with him.  Everyday I just make sure he knows that I love him more now than I did yesterday and we always make sure we take time to spend talking with each other and there is always many hugs included. 

  So I will conclude this post by saying that in our little home there has never been so much love inside of these four walls.  Through the sleepless nights, poop, crying, feedings and lack of personal hygiene all I can say is that I feel this is the best time in my life.   

  

xoxo 

Jesse, Farren & Nellie

Flying Time

  I once heard a joke about a boy who threw a clock out the window so he could see time fly... well I think once that boy was a man all he had to do was have a baby or two!  Nel and Farren were two weeks old yesterday.  It seems like so long ago yet it wasn't at all.  I have to say those first two nights were weary times, Dallas is not a person who likes to be woken up out of a deep sleep at 2 am.  I can't blame him at all its a new experience.  That being said, the babies are so content right now.  They let us know when they are hungry and we get some type of food in them, then they get changed and they are ready for more sleeping.  So the whole process in the middle of the night takes about an hour for both babies.  They are sleeping around 3.5 hours at a time, I honestly don't mind doing that 230-330 morning shift when Dallas gets up at 630 for the next, its like I am getting close to 5-6 hours of sleep then and that is amazing.  I know that it won't always be like that, but I am so glad they are so close to the same schedule right now.  
  Anyways, its interesting to watch how much they change even over night.  Farren just loves to look around with her big eyes and she wrinkles up her forehead when you talk to her like she totally understands what you are saying.  Nelly is a big snuggler she has to be rocked to sleep after a feed and let me tell you she has some major lungs, when she is hungry you know it!  So the whole diaper thing... I didn't think I would be able to change them with all the poop and everything, but its actually not that bad.  They seem to poop a lot... what's with all of that poop?  
  Well two weeks have passed and the girls are doing well, we have them home and we are still functioning and they are still alive and seem to be happy so we must be doing something right.  I just wanted to update and just give you a glimpse into our lives.  So basically it involves eating, sleeping, pooping with a lot of snuggles.  


xoxo
Jesse, Nell and Farren

Jesse's Girls... and Dallas' too

Day before babies

  Hi everyone.  Well the day arrived!  On Sunday August 21st I gave birth to two beautiful baby girls.  Nellie Camille weighed 6lbs 1oz and came out screaming and Farren Elsie weighed 5lbs 1oz and she also came out with some good lungs!  They were both 46.5 cm long and very healthy.  The week leading up the birth was one of the longest of my life.  I was completely exhausted and I think the doctor realized that between having PUPPS and carrying two large babies my body was telling me it was ready.
  Dallas and I were awake at 530 am on Saturday morning because the anticipation was just killing us.  So I won't go into too much detail other than I was in labour for 14 hours and when it was all said and done we were to have the babies via c-section.  We couldn't get past 5 cm and little Farren was breech with her feet in the way.  Nellie was born first at 221 am and Farren was born a short, but long 2 minutes later.
  I have never in my life felt more complete as a person as when I heard those first cries escape from both of their bodies.  I was overcome by more emotions than I have ever experienced in all of my life.  I knew that I was going to give birth to two souls in a matter of minutes and nothing can prepare you for the moment that you first hear them and get a glance at their little feet and arms flailing.  That moment I looked at their little faces and seen myself in them was the most magical moment, words cannot describe, but I am sure those of you reading know what I am talking about.  

Nellie on the left Farren on
the right.

Nel and Farren

  The girls were considered premature by one week so the week since they have been born we have been in the Special Care Nursery, it is the NICU but sounds better than saying they are in intensive care.  It has been a long 9 days having them in there, but there is a silver lining to it all.  The nurses in there ( they are all honorary aunties) have been beyond wonderful and the hospital in general has exceeded all of my expectations.  I have a new respect for nursing and the dedication these women have to their jobs.  They answer questions that I have asked over and over, they encourage you to stay positive when it was so hard to and they just are generally kind and considerate.  I honestly don't know what I would have done without their care and support this last week.  Having to leave your babies every night for a week is hard, but knowing that they have the worlds best baby sitters was comforting.  So here we are at the place that you dream of when your babies are not with you at home, they are coming home tomorrow!  They have both gained weight beyond their birth weight and they are both breast and bottle feeding.  So the light that used to seem so far away at the end of the tunnel is much closer.  Though the end is near at the Nursery life is really just beginning for us a family.  I know their daddy is just so excited to have a big snuggle with his girls on his couch in his home.  He has been whistling Baby Beluga the last couple days and it just does my heart so good to hear him do that.  Something so small and little yet so sweet at the same time.  
  The journey from the beginning of our pregnancy to the end has been such an amazing experience and although most of the "plans" and ideas that I had of the way I thought it would be didn't turn out no part of me is disappointed.  When it is all said and done we have been doubly blessed with two beautiful baby girls.  Thanks for following us on the first leg of our journey!  Let the chaos begin!  


xoxo
Jesse, Dally, Farren and Nellie



Doesn't that just sound so great!

Katelyn & Haley

How do you like the make over?  I thought that since we were getting so close to having babies and Fall is just around the corner I would switch things up and make things more "girlie" around this blog of mine.  So here we are quickly approaching 36 weeks (tomorrow), but before I even can think of getting into this post and writing about anything regarding myself I must must must tell you all that my sister had her babies on Sunday!  It was actually her Monday, but our Sunday!  So Haley Madison and Katelyn May arrived safely weighing a respectable 5 lbs 5 oz and 5 lbs 6 oz.  They are eating well and Mommy is getting some well deserved rest after a tough go with the epidural.  Not to get into too many details, but Jill had to be put under general anesthetic because the doc couldn't get the needle to go in her spine. At the end of it are these two beautiful baby girls.  Jill wrote me an email and said that she feels complete now (I hope so, you better not get pregnant in 6 weeks)!  She now has her four girls and adoring husband and now she can just be a mommy to all the girls and a non pregnant wife to Mark (which I am sure he will appreciate).  They are just perfect and I love them already.  Its times like this that make it hard to be apart though, I want to be there to hold Jills hand and give her a hug and kiss and tell her that she is an amazing mother and has been so strong, but I can't.  Its just the reality of everything though.  I am sure that there will be long conversations on Skype over the next years while all of our children grow and change...
  So onto our ultra sound today.  I was patiently waiting and the tech was about a half hour late, but I read a good article in Readers Digest so it wasn't that big of a deal really.  We got in there and she was super chatty, unlike most of the ultra sound technicians we have had who are normally sombre and quiet, so for me that was great.  It turns out that at almost 36 weeks our babies are 5 lbs 13oz and 5 lbs 5 oz already.  So that is a really great size!  I mean its not exact or anything, but nonetheless I am very proud of my little pork chops.  The other really great news was that the baby who is in position "a" her head is down and engaged!  So lets keep our fingers crossed that we will be able to have a "natural" birth.  This week has reeked havoc on my body, yet again I am facing another very interesting symptom or side effect of a surge of hormones.  I have broken out in hives pretty much on all of my joints, so my ankles, knees, elbows, shoulders and wrists to be exact.  Those along with an extremely itchy tummy make for uncomfortable nights.  I just am trying so so hard to just keep the end in sight and stay focused and realize that we are so close to these babies I can practically hear them crying!  I see the doc on Friday so I hope that he will have some more insight into why this has been going on.  As far as I understand is there is a lot of pressure on my ol' liver and since the skin is our largest organ the liver is detoxing through my skin which is causing the hives.  So we shall see.  I have taken an antihistamine and it seems to take the edge off of the itch.  So that is nice.

35 Weeks...

  Well my friends today we are officially 35 weeks!  I cannot believe we have only a short 3 week window until the babies will be here in our lives and come to their first home!  Its crazy to me to think about time and how it just slowly passes and yet it is so fast.  Last night I was reading a book that I have read throughout this pregnancy and I can't believe we are at the "Bringing Babies Home" chapter (which I have already read... like 3 months ago), but still we are almost there.  The end is in sight.  I keep telling myself to stay positive because our world will be flipped upside down very soon, but when you get this close and you feel this big (all 200 pounds of me), you just start to feel "finished."
  I think about how amazing it will be to meet them for the first time.  We will have our own babies now, we can't just hold them and snuggle them and send them on their way, these babies will be ours... forever.  I just can barely take it in somedays.  I can't wait to hear that newborn cry and that first time we get to hold them.  We already love these little babies so much I can't imagine loving them even more when they are here.
  There has been some indication that the time nigh, I have had more Braxton Hicks contractions ( I am willing each one of them to be a real one anytime)... now I might be weird but I am really curious about how a real contraction actually feels... I just want to feel one so bad!  There are a few other indications about impending labor just generally feeling like its time.  Call it instinct or whatever or maybe I am just anxious or maybe I am coming out in sympathy for my sister (who has her c-section scheduled for Monday).  I kind of want our babies to all be born on the same day... is that really asking too much?
  There are a lot of feeling to sift through when the end is near.  I was just saying to Dallas last night that before we were counting down in months then it was near enough that we could start counting down in weeks, and here we are counting down the days till we are officially parents!  Crazy!  I hope you are all having a fabulous day!

Much Love
xoxo
Jesse and Babies

Expectations

  Well well well... here we have made it 34 weeks yesterday!  I must revoke some comments I made in my last post, the more that I read and talk to people the better it is if these little girls stay in awhile longer and I get a gold medal.  So... our new goal will be to make it to 36 weeks.  I feel stretched beyond my comfort levels at this point, but I try to leave the house once a day just to keep my sanity.  I took the dog for a walk yesterday and he was not impressed with my speed to say the least.  He kept looking back at me with big eyes that said, " Come on I know you can go faster than this."  He was a patient companion and when we hit the park the leash came off and he soon forgot how slow I am and he was going to all of his little spots to mark his territory. 
  Today I was thinking about expectations during pregnancy.  I have far exceeded any expectations that I have set for myself and this pregnancy and I am proud of that.  Not in a way to rub it in anyones face, but I made little goals for myself regarding a variety of things and I am so glad that I have met most of them.  I am glad that I can say that I have had an amazing pregnancy and that the babies seem to be thriving.  All I wanted was to be healthy and more importantly for the babies to be healthy too and now here we are ready to meet them really anytime and I honestly still feel pretty good.  Maybe more emotional at times, but its ok to feel that way and its completely normal too!  So I do have a lot to be proud of.  I have never doubted the ability that I had to carry these babies to a healthy point and I feel that if they weren't happy in their little womb that they would let me know and would have shown their little faces already, I am just amazed at what the human (woman's) body can endure!  Now with all the expectations that have been met, I must say that I had some pretty high expectations about the birthing/ laboring part of this.  I will say now that no matter how these babies arrive into this world, that day will be ranked right up there as the best day of our life.  I think that the moment that we found out that our one baby was in a breech position my opinion changed about how to birth the babies.  Obviously, I would rather have a natural birth, but when it comes down to it the only thing that matters is that the babies and I are safe.  If the doctor recommends and early epidural for safety reasons I have to humble myself and know that he is the one who has delivered babies not me, I have read a few books though!  It does make me sigh though.  I realize now that a multiple birth is different than a single birth and there are so many factors play into your "birth plan."  I will just anticipate that day and whatever happens happens and as long as the babies are safe I will be happy.
  I do want to update you all on our doctors appointment that we had on Tuesday.  I met our new OB and he was super nice!  Just upbeat and really enthusiastic!  The babies heart rates were still really good, my BP was a bit higher than it has been, but I have also been retaining more water than usual.  My weight didn't change (thankfully I am still 198)  thats a lot of weight for a small human like myself!  He said that with multiples he likes to give an early epidural so incase one comes out naturally and the other doesn't budge it is easier for maneuvering ( I won't get into too many details there, maybe use your imagination), it also helps to reduce the chance that we would have a normal birth and a c-section.  We  have another ultra sound booked for August 17th and then we see him on the 19th again.  We'll see if we can make it to those dates though.  He wasn't totally convinced that I would and neither am I really!  
  The anticipation is killing me now.  I just can't wait to see Dallas' face when his daughters are born and he gets to see them for the first time.  Now we just wait.  I will keep you all posted!


xoxo
Jesse and Babies

I Will Humble Myself and Accept Third Place... Please!

  So here I am and its early afternoon and I have had my morning bath/ reading time and I just put my jammies back on!  I did get a load of laundry in the washer and have plans on doing a few more loads.  Laundry is my enemy right now!  Haha... I am sure it will only get "better".  So wow how so much changes in not a short period of time.  I have this feeling, call it intuition or whatever you want, but I think that these little girls are going to be coming into this world sooner than later.  I don't want to complain, because I have done well up to this point with keeping my complaints to a minimum, but I am super uncomfortable now.  I have feet that look like they belong to an elephant (my ankles have disappeared), my right hand/ arm is unavailable a lot of the time due to some awesome side effect called carpel tunnel ( I hope that goes away ) oh and the most strange thing that I think has happened to me, it that the swelling in my gums has caused my front teeth to separate!  There is now a visible space between them, its kind of cute though!  
  We are approaching 34 weeks now and I read that at this point it would be considered a bronze medal, 35 weeks is a silver medal and 36 weeks is a gold medal!  Ha... I am in NO competition though, and I have always been a humble loser.  So a bronze medal would be great!  Personally I think that the gold should be for 34 weeks... just a thought.  I have more Braxton Hicks contractions now much more frequently and cramping along side them... so signs are pointing to our girls showing up soon.  
  My sister is also still pregnant with her girls, I wonder what kind of coincidence that would be if we had our babies on the same day... too bad we couldn't really plan that... we might be offered some type of reward.  
  So the list of the things to do in our house has started to bother me.  If there ever was a time to procrastinate now is not the time, but like most humans I work better when there is a bit of stress involved.  Its not really a considerable amount of anything that needs to get done, just a lot of little things that have piled up.  So today I will be making a list and that list will be cleared by Friday... I hope.  
  I am really excited to meet our next OB and see what he is like.  I hope he's as nice as the last one.  We meet with him on Wednesday.  This week we are also getting our car seats put in properly!  If there is anything that stresses me out that would be it!  So I have enlisted the help of someone to help us do them properly!  No stress that way!    I guess today's post has no real purpose, maybe just an update.  Who knows maybe it will be the last one till the babies come... but maybe not!  Either way we will try to keep you posted!
  My washer is singing to me and that is telling me that its time for the next load.  I hope you are all enjoying these nice summer days mixed with some wicked thunder storms in the evening!  


xoxo
Jesse and Babies