I Heart Routine

  I am sitting here enjoying my coffee while two sets of eyes, ears, hands, and feet are all pointed towards me.  I have two smiling little babies and I just love it!  Three months has just flown by and I can hardly believe that we have made it this far and it has gone fast but slow at the same time.  The changes are incredible.  It feels like somedays they just seriously change right before our eyes.  I am happy to say that the girls are just thriving.  Yesterday we had their 3 month check up and Nellie came in at a whopping 14lb 5oz and Farren at 12lb 14oz!  So there is just over a pound difference between them still!  I seriously almost fell over when I seen that.  I knew that they were heavier, but not that heavy!  I am not complaining!  All of those 430 am feeds have paid off!  I have to say that I am a much rested and happy mom.  The girls basically go to bed anywhere between 830-915 and they usually sleep until about 630 or 730.  I honestly believe that routine has saved us!  Every night they get a bit fussy around 630 so we give them some milk and they are content and we just snuggle them and have a little play till around 730-745, then the fun begins with their baths!  After their baths they get their massages.  This just relaxes them so much and by 815 they are ready to eat again and they wind down and go to sleep.  Every night they get swaddled in their elephant blankets, put in bed ( which is still in our room ) and they get all tucked in right next to each other.  We are very lucky because they just go straight to sleep, never a fuss or a peep out of them.  Its incredible!  So this way Dallas and I get an hour to ourselves with each other! Its fabulous!  So now you all know our routine!
  So every morning when they are waking up I peak in their little bed and see two smiles, they now recognize me as their mamma ( what a great feeling ).  Farren and Nellie now make little talking sounds like "AAAHHH GOOO" and when I say that back they continue and we go back and forth.  Little sweeties.  
  We all know that Christmas is just around the corner so this year I am starting a tradition for the girls.  I am making them photo books.  I know that little kids love looking at pictures of mom and dad, their cousins, grandparents, pets, etc..  Its a great present and a nice keepsake for the girls as they get older.  This way they can see the last year of their life!  I have to take the girls to get their picture with Santa.  That should be a fun day!  I might try the mall today, but we might also just wait till next week!  Crazy line ups for that fat man!
  I should sign off here!  I hope you are all enjoying this mild weather!  Personally I am ready for the snow and cold!  Bring it on!


xo
Jesse

Baby Body

Two weeks before babies

  I have contemplated writing about this topic for a few days.  The last few days I have been thinking about the changes that have occurred regarding my body.  I was talking to Dallas about this the other day and was honestly feeling sorry for myself.  I just thought about when I was pregnant I had never felt more beautiful and full of life.  Now I do understand that not every pregnant women feels like this, but I did.  Now here we are 12 weeks after these two beautiful little babies have been born and I look at myself and realize that I am in complete mommy mode.  Maybe its the exhaustion or just the sheer fact that I have no time to really worry about how I look, but I don't feel even close to as great as I did when I was pregnant.  

Before Babies

  Everything has seemed to "fall" a little bit, if you know what I mean.  My stomach actually does look like a deflated balloon ( I didn't believe women when they told me this would happen ).  This all being said, I wouldn't change it.  In my life I have never had body image issues and I don't want to start down that road and I understand its been only 3 months since the girls have been born and it takes time for things to "bounce" back.  The funny thing about this whole topic is that as women we are harder on ourselves than others are and to someone just looking at me they would never know or even understand why I feel the way I do.  
  In Farren and Nellie's eyes they just don't care, I am their hero.  That is all that really matters, as long as the girls are thriving (and they are) I just will try to not worry so much about how I look.  


Xoxo

 Jesse

Choices

  Today I am aware of the huge gap that I used to have in my life, that piece that was missing.  I thought about my life before the girls and now I can't imagine my life with out both of them.  When you find out that you are having twins you wonder about how you might be able to love them equally.  Or even have enough love for both of them.  However, it is there.  My life has now been changed from being selfish and full of pleasing myself to being completely dedicated to my two amazing little girls.  

Farren loving her tummy

Nellie just smiling

A mommy and her girls

  Now I don't want anyone to be fooled here, those first two months were the easily the most challenging of my life.  I had rose colored glasses on thinking that it would be a walk in the park.  Boy was I wrong.  The challenge isn't in the obvious things like feeding the babies or waking up numerous times in the middle of the night or the challenge of finding a routine.  Instead the difficulty came in all of the choices that I have had to make and find peace with.  The challenge of realizing that I am never going to meet all of the expectations that I had before the babies came.  I thought that I would breast feed exclusively and that was not as easy as I thought it would be.  I think that when someone is pregnant for the first time they need to be told that breast feeding is not easy, that it is challenging, that it is good only when it works.  I was speaking with a friend about releasing this guilt about not breast feeding and I have felt and still do feel guilty about not being able to provide them with the "best start" and she brought up a really great point about feeling guilty about enjoying NOT breast feeding.  I never really thought about that though and it makes a lot of sense to me.  I love the philosophy of attachment parenting, however I don't think that you have to only breast feed to bond with your child nor do you have to always have your child literally attached to you.  You do what is best for you and your child/children.  I love the fact that my girls love their little vibrating chairs because it gives me a break.  Before I used to cringe at the thought of even putting them in one and looking back I was just being too hard on myself, thinking that I wouldn't bond with them if they weren't being held the whole time.  Bonding I believe is a choice and there is no reason to think that you are a "bad" mommy because you can't breast feed or choose not to hold your baby all day, you do what works best for you.  

Farren & Nellie

  I am so glad to "get out" of that little tiny infant stage.  Now I get smiles that are like a "thank you for taking such good care of us" from the girls.  The really are sweet little babies ( and I am not just saying that because they are my babies), but they are extremely laid back.  Farren is more independent and just looks all around with her big eyes.  Nellie is a bit more "needy" and I am really stretching to use that word to describe her.  The girls are so aware now and just love looking around and having some music in the background.  
  Even though the last couple of months seemed to have flown by and I don't remember a lot of the first month or two I am just so excited for the next three months.  They are constantly changing and interacting with Dallas and I.  Its just so rewarding.  
  I hope that you are all embracing the constant changes that life brings.  


xoxo



Jesse

Lucky Lucky!

  Today is a bit of a milestone for a couple of reasons.  First off both the babies slept from 930-600 am.  What a glorious day!  Now I don't expect this to continue, but it is a huge step to know that they BOTH are capable of it!  So 6 hours of sleep in a row feels refreshing.  Secondly, the babies are spending the entire day at Grandma and Grandpas house!  Bev just picked up the girls and is taking them out to her house to spend the day with her.  So today I am having a day in my house all by myself and I am going to clean the entire place, and I might have a nap!
  Nellie and Farren are now 11 weeks old.  I can hardly believe it sometimes.  It feels like we waited so long for little smiles and now they are here.  I can sing weird and crazy little songs to them and make funny sounds and to them I am their little hero.  I am not sure how aware of each other they are yet, but their little personalities are starting to shine through.  I am a very lucky mommy because the girls are so laid back, one might even call them low maintenance ( like their mother ).  With having two babies I am very grateful about this trait.  Their little smiles are just so cute and when they smile their little eyes just light right up.  The other night I was changing Farren and I was so tired, but there was a little silver lining as she screamed for the first time.  It wasn't a scream for food, it was almost a giggle and she scared herself, it was really cute and at 430 am I was laughing at her.
  I am going to post this now because I wrote this on Tuesday and well its Thursday and I have something else to write about!

Cheers!