Hugs Included

  I hope I have a spare moment here to update this neglected blog of mine.  The girls are sound asleep right now and I am enjoying a bright sunny morning and a nice cup of coffee and a muffin.  I have soiled sleepers soaking in my bathroom sink, bottles to clean, laundry to do and a bedroom to clean today, but that can all wait.  What a whirlwind time in life!  Now that Dallas is back at work this is life as we know it.  I have never been so exhausted but full of life at the same time!  The girls are doing amazing and they are just changing everyday.  They were 5 weeks yesterday!  Some mornings I pick them up out of their crib (which is right next to my side of the bed) and they feel so much heavier than they did the day before.  I am pretty sure by the time we go to see their pediatrician that Nellie will be close to 12lbs and Farren will be near 11!  They are just healthy and happy little people.  

Nellie being really cute!

Mom stealing a kiss from Nellie

  I can't help but think about all of the expectations that I had through out my pregnancy all of which were exceeded.  The expectations about my labor which didn't go as I thought but nonetheless we have two beautiful girls out of the ordeal!  And I have no regrets.  What has far exceeded any expectations that I had is how much these two babies have changed my life (our life).  I would do anything to make them happy as they in such a short period of time have brought me a lifetime of happiness already.  Its those little eyes that pierce my heart, those tight grips on my finger when we are feeding, the way they freak out in the middle of eating like I am going to take their food away and starve them, but mostly I am so grateful for enough love for both girls and Dallas.  All that I ask for everyday is that I would be able to provide enough support and love to sustain my little family through the day.  My patience has been stretched at times, but its worth every uncomfortable moment and every tear shed.  

Farren being sweet after her bath

  One thing that I wanted to write about is the expectations that mothers (myself included) put on themselves to try and do everything and be everything to everyone.  It didn't take me long to figure out that if mommy breaks down the whole system breaks down.  I did not break down, but there were a few days in a row with very little sleep.  Sometimes I think that the two most needy people in our home aren't Nellie and Farren instead I think that it might be Dallas and I.  Trying to find that perfect balance between parenting and your marriage might be the biggest challenge.  I am thankful that Dallas is very patient with me, because there have been times when I have "lost my cool"with him.  Everyday I just make sure he knows that I love him more now than I did yesterday and we always make sure we take time to spend talking with each other and there is always many hugs included. 

  So I will conclude this post by saying that in our little home there has never been so much love inside of these four walls.  Through the sleepless nights, poop, crying, feedings and lack of personal hygiene all I can say is that I feel this is the best time in my life.   

  

xoxo 

Jesse, Farren & Nellie